My name is Nicole, 49 years young! No children, English but living in France since 2001.
I don’t really remember starting my periods, but I was about 14, never really had any issues with them, a little bit of pain and lasted only 3 to 4 days and regular. The one thing that has never changed is that I never got pain until my period started, but when the pain started it was quite unbearable.
I never went to the doctors, just had a hot water bottle to help, I never took painkillers either as I don’t like taking medication.
When I was about 25, I really had had enough of it, the pain just got too much. I went to see my doctor, and basically was told there’s nothing wrong with you, be quiet and go home! So that’s what I did, a year went by, I had no intention of having children at that time, so really didn’t think of the implications that followed.
I moved house and changed Doctors, so I went to see a new Doctor, who sent me to see a Gynecologist. Who sent me to have a laparoscopy. I returned to see the gynecologist for the result, the response I had, “Madam you have endometriosis and you will never have children” that’s all I remember from that appointment, I was 27 years old and really didn’t take those words in. I walked out and started walking through the town, I passed in front of a tattooist shop, I stopped, walked in and had a couple of body piercings done, I don’t know why I did that, I guess it was just something to change my mood, but out of character for me.
Nothing happened after the appointment, no follow up, no treatment, no nothing.
When I was 28, I moved to France with my parents, sister and brother. I was still having pains, not just when my period arrived but all the time, extremely painful when I had sexual intercourse. (Which wasn’t a problem until I was in a steady relationship).
So, when we were well installed in France I searched for a Gynecologist. Which was really quick and easy as you just called up got appointment for the following week.
The gynecologist gave me and internal scan, then said I needed another laparoscopy as I didn’t have the results from the UK.
After the laparoscopy was done, he said yes I have endometriosis but thought I would be able to have children, at the same time of the laparoscopy he removed two cysts from my ovaries.
There was no treatment but I had follow ups every year for a smear test.
So I continued with the pain! Then at 33, I was in a long-term relationship and started to think about children, I stopped taking the contraception pill, after a year nothing, so I returned to gynecologist. He prescribed medication to help me get pregnant, and after 1 month it worked!!! I was pregnant.
5 weeks went past, I was still working, this particular day I was working the afternoon shift, I felt fine, came home had some pizza, and went to bed. In the night I woke with extreme pain in my abdomen, I sat on the toilet thinking it was constipation, but it got unbearable, my partner took me to emergency, where I fell to the floor, the next thing I remember is when I woke up in recovery, a nurse telling me, don’t worry you can try again. I didn’t really understand what he was saying, but then my gynecologist came to my room and explained. I had an ectopic pregnancy, there was two fertilized eggs but they were both stuck in the fallopian tubes, so they were both removed.
It was two days before Christmas, I spent a very quiet and pretty confused Christmas. The whole family was affected, but I put it in the past and continued.
My gynecologist suggested that I see a specialist in IVF, so I did. The first appointment he said my fallopian tubes needed to be removed, they were too damaged by the endometriosis, and that is why I had the ectopic pregnancy, and it was too dangerous to try naturally again.
So, my tubes and half of one ovary were removed. Maybe it was my fault as when I was younger, I should have pushed the gynecologist and doctors in the UK to sort my problem of endometriosis, but back then there was no help, or advice, so the following years the endometriosis continued to attack my tubes and ovaries.
I went through 5 lots of IVFS all resulting in negative results each time. I gave up. I was getting too old and could not keep going through the pain of the IVF and putting the family through such misery, we all just had to accept I was not going to have children! I wanted the gynecologist to take everything out, so I had no more periods, no more pain, but they wouldn’t so I continued with the pain.
I then started the menopause when I was 38, after 9 years of a slow menopause I have no more periods, I still have pain but nowhere near as bad as before.
I just pushed myself into my love of horses, it was my way of dealing with things, my horses are my children.
